I was out with a few friends the other day and after the usual pleasantries the conversation turned to what happening in each ones lives. Most of what I heard after that was conversation on auto pilot .conversation ranged from “what I like about my job is the coffee machine”, my new diet helps loose weight faster ………., traffic sucks, remember so and so well she got married he had an accident………..
and this was the story on most of tables at the café where I was .as a child I was always told that adults lead exciting lives full of adventure (crossing the road without assistance is also adventure to an 8 year old) the older I get the more mechanical li8fe seems to get . As a child I was full of ideas and felt I could look forward to the future. The older I get the more I conform to norms that someone has forgotten to review. Most adults live their lives based on what they are supposed to do as adults not what they would like to do, and this causes all the heartache. Unwritten rules of what is right and has to be done rule our lives more than what we want to do, and what could make us happier people.
Most of decisions are our own but are so in keeping with society’s expectations. As adults we are to think like adults, but what are adults supposed to think? And is an adult’s point of view better than that of a child? I beg to differ. when questioned about bringing in somber elements in books author JK Rowling said that she believed that grown ups books have become childish and children’s books more real. Take a look at some of the books in most bookstores the titles border on fantasy. Books on how to be successful, powerful, win people, stay thin, are the envy of the neighbors and get rich fast. If all of us could be that outstanding would we need books for it? And do we have to be thin, rich and successful. Aren’t there bigger issues in life?
Maybe being on this auto pilot mode keeps us from facing ourselves. When we tell ourselves we are like everyone else we take the pain of being different away. Being different (not to be confused with becoming different) is a lot harder than being a conformist. WH Auden wrote a poem about a typical citizen, who did what everyone did, he ends the poem by asking “was he happy?” Given that the man in the poem did everything right it would seem absurd that he was unhappy. Being like the rest (an impossible task since each person is unique) gives us a feeling that we belong to something or someone and we wont be left alone.
we are taught from the beginning that different isn’t good , disabled children , junkies, unmarried people, married people without children etc are unhappy people and are a frustrated lot.
and this was the story on most of tables at the café where I was .as a child I was always told that adults lead exciting lives full of adventure (crossing the road without assistance is also adventure to an 8 year old) the older I get the more mechanical li8fe seems to get . As a child I was full of ideas and felt I could look forward to the future. The older I get the more I conform to norms that someone has forgotten to review. Most adults live their lives based on what they are supposed to do as adults not what they would like to do, and this causes all the heartache. Unwritten rules of what is right and has to be done rule our lives more than what we want to do, and what could make us happier people.
Most of decisions are our own but are so in keeping with society’s expectations. As adults we are to think like adults, but what are adults supposed to think? And is an adult’s point of view better than that of a child? I beg to differ. when questioned about bringing in somber elements in books author JK Rowling said that she believed that grown ups books have become childish and children’s books more real. Take a look at some of the books in most bookstores the titles border on fantasy. Books on how to be successful, powerful, win people, stay thin, are the envy of the neighbors and get rich fast. If all of us could be that outstanding would we need books for it? And do we have to be thin, rich and successful. Aren’t there bigger issues in life?
Maybe being on this auto pilot mode keeps us from facing ourselves. When we tell ourselves we are like everyone else we take the pain of being different away. Being different (not to be confused with becoming different) is a lot harder than being a conformist. WH Auden wrote a poem about a typical citizen, who did what everyone did, he ends the poem by asking “was he happy?” Given that the man in the poem did everything right it would seem absurd that he was unhappy. Being like the rest (an impossible task since each person is unique) gives us a feeling that we belong to something or someone and we wont be left alone.
we are taught from the beginning that different isn’t good , disabled children , junkies, unmarried people, married people without children etc are unhappy people and are a frustrated lot.
Thinking different is a lot harder than going on to auto pilot mode, but a lot more rewarding. Recycling is good but not when our personal growth is a t stake.
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