Transgender etiquette 101

I am more oppressed.... no I am more oppressed

The politics of oppression when intersectionality isn’t your thing.

A little while ago my friend showed me a video of two feminist groups fighting over who was more oppressed. One group was cisgender another transgender. While we did laugh at the futility of the debate we did feel sad for those stuck in this cycle of never ending persecution. I have heard people say oppressed people turn out worse then their oppressors when given their freedom. I wouldn’t want to support that argument as it only plays into the hands of oppressors.

I am seeing a trend and a very disturbing one – one group feeling more oppressed than another. Recently a male friend said to me you women complain about sexism all you feminists get it wrong men are attacked violently too. I have never denied male on male violence neither has feminism. Similarly I have been to seminars on various subjects or charity events where people have pointed out but they only look after this group and not this one….. I am seeing a very strong drive amongst historically oppressed groups to feel liberated by punching another oppressed group.

Pink news  recently carried an article about stopping aid to certain African countries that are still homophobic. I was deeply troubled by comments at the end of the article and more so by the high handedness that came with this decision.  Comments ranged from name calling to subtle sophisticated racism. This gesture  to stop aid seem like a threat and not an act of reaching to end homophobia. What hides behind the triumph of LGBT rights is racism, the ‘lets show em’ attitude which says to me this aid was never unconditional or genuine.  This aid is meant for the poorest people on the African continent who lets face it have it bad and are exploited like poor people across the world are.  Governments of those nations have made anti lgbt laws that oppress another group of people, throw in some well meaning white people and you have an incoherent group of people shouting for rights each one trying to outdo the other.

I don’t think cutting of aid will help change homophobic attitudes, if anything it will pander to the worst fears people have about the LGBT community in these nations. A similar incident happened in India last year (just after we recriminalised homosexuality). An Indian diplomat got into trouble in USA the story was in the news for days, the first reaction of the government and opposition was – lets seek out LGBT Americans and target them for their racism.

While the liberal west has become a tolerant place for LGBT people the rest of the world has not. However when race and sexuality collide they produce an ugly divide. That an individual can inhabit two spaces does not occur to anyone. Targeting another oppressed group does not make for liberation of another community or provide any liberation for that matter. There are individuals and groups on the African continent fighting for LGBT rights despite the way the issue is presented. Should poor people starve because certain liberal ideas have not caught up fast enough?  I have been accused of being homophobic by existing as a woman of colour, as if being white equals being accepting of LGBT people. Similarly being LGBT and white does not mean one is automatically anti racist or anti other prejudice. 

Imari land

I was given a set of Derwent graphic line painters this Christmas and decided to try them out on a card this week. This is the result. This piece is inspired by Japanese Imari Porcelain, I have tried to best capture the dreamy nature of some of the scenes.

Dum aloo - easy potato curry

This curry was quite popular with my mum when I was growing up, but it is rather greasy so I decided to make a lighter version of it. The recipe calls for the potatoes to be deep fried, I roast them instead.

Cut potatoes to a size of you like. Heat a pan in the oven with oil, drop the potatoes in when the oil is hot but not smoking toss them around the pan and ensure they are well coated in oil. Half way through the cooking, add a clove or two of garlic and roughly chopped onions. Roast till golden. The garlic should soften and become easy to mash.

To prepare the curry base, heat oil in a pan, add chopped onions and sauté until translucent. I usually add a bit of the spice mixture in at this point, here are the spices, all quantities are according to taste:

Salt, chilli powder, turmeric powder, coriander powder, cumin powder, mango powder, nigella seeds, garam masala, a pinch of sugar, a little dried basil.

Add tomato paste or puree to the onions in the pan, mix well, add the rest of the spices and sauté. I added a little yogurt to reduce the sourness, if you are vegan skip this.  Add another  pinch of  garam masala and cook for a minute or two. Add the roast potatoes, mix well ,garnish with coriander and serve.

Feel free to add ingredients and make variations of this recipe.

Photographs below-

Sauté onions till translucent

Add tomato paste. You can use fresh tomatoes or puree 

Mix well

Add spices I usually add a pinch of sugar to make the tomatoes less tart

Let this cook for a minute or two

This mixture started to bubble a bit 

As it was getting a bit dry I added a little water and let it simmer

The oil and tomatoes should separate and start bubbling in the pot.

Add yogurt and stir well 

 Add the roasted potatoes at this point and mix well. 

This is my meal in a lovely plate with mango lassi, chapatis and butter 

Passing the respectability test

There are very few occasions I have encountered vile angry hate speech in Manchester. Last week was one of those occasions. I was invited out to a party on an open invitation so I took my friend along. What was seemed like a lovely evening was spoilt by some very nasty comments by a different friend who was angry with me the next day. I will tell you why you see my first friend is transgender. A fact I neglected to mention to my second friend who was most upset that I brought in someone she was not used to seeing. So while my transgender friend is white and British, she fails in another aspect of social respectability. 

My friend (the one who invited me) was angry because she could not understand why a man would dress like a woman – clearly a disorder she says. She went on to tell me her employers (the restaurant where we ate) would ‘think badly’ of her. This lady said other nasty things about my transgender friend which I have no intention of repeating. What struck me was how her hatred of my transgender friend was not just based on her prejudices and ignorance but also on looking disreputable. My transgender friend found it strange that one should think less of an LGBT person in Manchester of all places. My transphobic friend went onto tell me she thinks everyone is equal and thinks everyone must be respected equally ... wait for it she doesn't want to look like a nasty person. 

I have heard these words before 'I am not a (insert prejudice here )but ......' 'I don't want to look  .......' I wish people would acknowledge their inner prejudices rather than falsely reassure themselves of their neutrality. I also wish people would acknowledge that these prejudices are their own and not acquired for the sake of society (which is quite oblivious of them). In the wake of Leelah Alcorn's death we should not use society as an excuse to justify our own prejudices.  In India where I come from I have heard this excuse being made several times, for example parents force their children into taking certain courses at university to look good in the eyes of society. This is the same society that turns around and mocks them when their children go on to take their lives. My transphobic friend did engage with this politic being a non-British white person she would like to be accepted in British society but being heterosexual and cisgender she wants to distance herself from another kind of minority. However by making statements about another persons appearance and being nasty about it she was not being very polite or well mannered (a perception she wants others to have of her). The politics of respectability is a very convenient one, it allows the perpetrator of any kind of prejudice to deny their agency.  For example is it okay to say I am rude to you as a woman because society demands misogyny? If that statement seems ridiculous it is meant to be, it is meant to show how ridiculous some of our prejudices seem when we use the politics of respectability.

My friend hid behind her nationality, job, heterosexuality and cisgenderness to justify her prejudice and also her reaction. ‘How would that look to her employers’ was my transgender friend’s comment on the issue. That is a question that does need asking what will her employers think of her nasty reaction. Does defending an invisible uncaring society make them love us more? Do we pass if we point out the failings of another person? Twenty years ago it would have been me who would have been attacked for being the wrong skin colour. It is a fact I am always aware of, when I start passing in white society and my friends don't I am wary of this easy acceptance. I am aware it could all turn against me just as easily. I might be respectable as a cisgender woman of colour when compared with a transgender woman but if the transgender person wasn’t around I would be an outsider, this is not true equality. In another situation those same characteristics have been used against me to show solidarity with my transgender friend to include her into white respectable society. I have heard similar arguments by different immigrant groups at different points of their citizenship. Some pass the test by being good workers, some by becoming more British, but always at the cost of outing another immigrant.  My acceptance into respectable society is not a real one it is only test in which I have scored more respectable points than another person. I do not want to be accepted by people who decide what is passes as based on whims. To gain the approval of our oppressors does not make us any better than them, it only makes us become like them. My transgender friend has a good analogy for this situation – pulling up the ladder behind you she says. Unfortunately this is all too true of the politics of respectability we pull ladders up when we reach a certain stage in our lives.

I will not apologise for my friend’s appearance (which is almost always appreciated by those who meet her). I will not apologise for her not being transgender enough as all these excuses pander to our oppressors.  I will not apologise for taking her out for dinner. I will not apologise for being different.




PS: this comedy sketch explains this point well. 

Winter blossoms at Manchester Cathedral

 This blossom tree has been blooming all winter. It the only flowering plant around town. If you know what variety of blossom this is please tell me about it.

From the People's History Museum

Epiphany

Here is a little doodle I made for Epiphany. It is Christmas till 2nd February.

Happy New Year - 2015

Wish you all a very Happy New Year.