The politic of angry black women, mislabelling our response to racism

Why do you black women shout so much? I am asked frequently. Loud and sassy that is what what we are called. My voice is not heard when I am quiet when I raise my tone of voice I become a shouty black woman. I am very aware of the discrepancies with which my white counterparts are treated. If it was only my voice that was the problem, my identity is viewed with suspicion therefore what I say becomes   difficult. It seems I am prejudged. I ask all women of colour this have you noticed how you could say something that isn't related to race and yet that is what they hear all the time. Even after you have clarified what you have said was not what they heard. 

Case in point

White man- So is this the first time you have spoken the English language?

Me- No, it is one of my two mother tongues besides English is a commonly used language in India.

White man- ah I see for someone who has only started speaking this language in the last few months that you have been here you can speak it very well. 

Me- That is not what I said English is my mother tongue..........

It was pointless saying anything more I would have been called rude and aggressive if I had clarified my point. Audre Lorde speaks about this phenomena in her book Sister outsider. Black women’s femininity is measured by white women’s standards and when we fail that comparison we occupy the space of the marginalised feminine. Our voices and tone of voice makes us aggressive the content is simply dismissed. At best we embody a pathology and our femininity is used as a means of cautioning other women against our mannerisms.

A white woman asked me where I was going one afternoon so I mentioned I was attending a black feminist event. Her next question for me was what are you doing after your angry black feminist meeting? I asked her why she added anger to the term black feminist, to which she replied well you all are angry about racism all the time…….. perhaps because we keep encountering racists all the time. Perhaps our anger is a response to anger. Nobody asks the aggressor why they react with such malice why are white, heterosexual, cisgender able bodies men so angry and insecure? Why is my retaliation labelled as anger and not his? Occupying a dominant position has come to mean we pathologise the minority, of not being aware of ones own aggressions. 

If our mannerism is not calm and polite it is because the aggressions we face are not polite. Does saying something rude in a soft voice make it okay? White women are trapped in this position of occupying one space of privilege – whiteness their conformity to this position involves their internalisation of a stereotype. Being polite, gentle, soft-spoken gives them an entry into a white male environment. In order to maintain this power they must reject alternative forms of femininity. Black, queer, transgender, butch, disabled women come to occupy the space of the excluded other. These struggles within marginalised groups is not uncommon. To gain affirmation from the norm members of a group are often willing to collude with their oppressors to gain acceptance. It is understandable but it is not acceptable.